i don't know what i came here for

You were all wrong for me, I knew it, we didn't fit. Two years later though, a small part of me still wishes I could've stuck around with you. Because you were seemingly crazy about me, among other things. I know it never would've been enough for me. But sometimes, I wish it had been.

We come across so many people, who turn to matter in different ways, different weights, understanding here, comfort there, but most of them, never quite fit to stay. I'm still waiting. And in the mean time, I've fallen back on this idea of living, chasing momentary desires, that perhaps will never weigh much alone, but without it, I may never learn the lessons I need to.

I haven't had a good night's sleep since spring.