Thursday, June 27, 2013

You Can Say Anything

If I could say anything....I would tell you that I love you, even when it didn't show.
You know how I save everything? I should really, at least, get rid of the old photos and things you've said, that I saved on my phone long ago. Nowadays, there are days that go by where I'm not reminded of you. The other day though, my phone kept telling me iCloud was running out of storage, so I had to go back and delete insignificant things from my photo album. So, of course, I had a mini trip down memory lane, reminded of things you used to say, fights we used to have, how much you did love me in those moments, and how you used to make me feel, when things were good. It's so rare, you know, to find someone who will love you.

We were on the phone last night, updating each other about our lives. How we got here, at 28 years old, professionally and romantically far from where we thought we'd be at this age. "At 12, I thought, I'd lose my virginity at 18, get married at 23 or 24, and have kids at 27, when I would be professionally established." Well, that didn't quite pan out. She was talking to a new guy, he was 25, "he's so green, untainted, wide-eyed, brings vodka in deer park water bottles to house parties. He doesn't know there are cobwebs in my head, and I will never tell him." These days, we're wondering why we couldn't just have stayed with the one that loved us. What am I waiting for? Up until a few years ago, hanging out with a cute guy would've brightened up our entire day. Nowadays, cute doesn't even do much. "I don't even want to bother hooking up with him. I'd rather go home, wash my face, and go to bed." - "It's such an ordeal. The me of 3 years ago would've had a problem turning a guy down, now, even the cutest ones, I don't want to bother with."