Maybe, maybe I ask too many questions, maybe I'm always just demanding too much, I don't know, I've always wanted the whole damn world. I used to believe anything was possible, but as I get older, it only gets harder. Some days, I'm not sure what I believe.
I came around cause I thought, you were worth my time. And I don't believe I was wrong on that point. But maybe I expect too much out of you, and maybe that's not fair, maybe. I just have this habit of always expecting a lot out of the people I care about.
It takes about 5 minutes for me to decide if someone's worth my time, if they're my kind of people. And I'm right about 95 percent of the time, there are always exceptions. But most of the time, I'm right.
I've always been good at keeping relationships–friends. Maybe because I never had a boyfriend to distract me, maybe because I'm an only child, and my parents drive me crazy. So I've always managed to keep these relationships. I choose my friends carefully because they're my family, and I was never one for keeping acquaintances, until I got older and for other reasons it became necessary (I still believe it's bullshit.). And I never realized, how, as we get older, most people don't keep that many friends. Cause we all get busy, this life, you know.
I don't know where I was going with this. But on matters of worth. I'm impatient, at times insecure, at times crazy, and I have this habit of saying everything that comes to my mind, sometimes, I say too much, I can't really say sorry because, sorry rarely ever means much. I'm addicted to the things I fear most....so maybe you're right. Maybe I'm always running after what I can't have because, because nothing good ever came easy. And that's simply how I've always known it to be. If I cease to believe that anything is possible, well then, there'd be no point left in this life.
Showing posts with label Mon Coeur. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mon Coeur. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Monday, November 9, 2009
the difference between right and wrong
"They have been aware
That it is necessary
His statements ascribe
To ignorance
Malicious propaganda
They have been aware
The absurdity of his restraint
They have been aware
That it is necessary
To bring to an end
The present state of things
For their aims
Are the weapon of reaction"
"I never argue with people, because it's clear that they're not susceptible to reason. They believe what they do because they have a need to believe it." - Theodor Herzi
Beliefs on World War II aside. War doesn't define winners or losers, right or wrong, war merely defines the people who are left.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Between me and you
I ran away to Italy and it was the best thing I ever did.
An entire life created over the course of our year here, and what now? Most of us still don't have a damn clue, but then if we did, we probably never would've made it here to begin with, so hey, a toast, to making something out of nothing, to having friends at your disposal any hour, any time, any day, to constant entertainment, and even then, consistent boredom
to not knowing exactly what we're trying to do with the rest of our lives, to running away, to running here, to meeting you, to knowing you, to our palazzo, to the tv room, to rando kitchen conversations, to trash and piled dishes, to food thieves, to our crazy italian witch teacher sara, to castagna, to chiara, to quarters, to joshua tree, to food lion, to kebab, to the arno, to river rats, to miniature dogs and peeing in the streets, to weekends away, to endless train rides, and oh, to this all feeling like so long ago, yet as if it were all yesterday, to the palazzo plague, to sweltering hot summer days, to italiano, to birra moretti, to emo status wars, to sparring, to corner panino, to fiesole, corner panino, to the price of everything edible at the eui, to simulations, all nighter dgs, to professors dancing and singing in the middle of the street, to avid liver damage, to tijuana, to all the bullshit that is, to this fucking beautiful city, to bongos in Santo Spirito, to singing hobos and crackheads, to floor pizza, toilet tissue dispensers, 6 a.m. construction, throw up, 80's night, jager bombs, to speakers and professors who've never made any sense, to the gustas, to cappuccinos, to piazzale michelangelo, palazzo vecchio, piazza della repubblica, to deoderantless europeans, american breakfast, craving mexican, yelling at randos in the middle of intoxicated nights, to space, to Turkey, to civil and not so civil 'conversations', to frizzante, casalinga, yellow, central park, asia, the tranny park, to things disappearing into space, to the agony of morning afters, to photographs capturing every moment we never wanted to remember, to trying not to regurgitate in class or on Roma, to regurgitating in Roma and Ireland, to cara's facebook status novel, our greatest achievement on the eve of procrastination, to the Damn Cat, to the men of Italia, Albania, Lebanon, England, America, to bagged wine, to bag noodle, to our vending machine, ikea, cracktana, food babies, not killing each other, ricchi, gelato, to pisa, fiddler's, buses, boats, trains, planes, snowstorms in our fair London, the exchange rate, to vafanculo, to food babies, digressing, the vegetail people, market day, bus strikes, meepmeep, gg, and alex, to magi, cirque du soleil, to watching the entire 10 seasons of Friends and countless hours of dvds on top, late night political debates and civil arguments even in our intoxicated states, to the european union and to Firenze.
We've almost made it, no one's had a baby yet.
Oh, and I still think MTV should've paid to tape our life this past year. We would have so much money by now, sigh.
An entire life created over the course of our year here, and what now? Most of us still don't have a damn clue, but then if we did, we probably never would've made it here to begin with, so hey, a toast, to making something out of nothing, to having friends at your disposal any hour, any time, any day, to constant entertainment, and even then, consistent boredom
to not knowing exactly what we're trying to do with the rest of our lives, to running away, to running here, to meeting you, to knowing you, to our palazzo, to the tv room, to rando kitchen conversations, to trash and piled dishes, to food thieves, to our crazy italian witch teacher sara, to castagna, to chiara, to quarters, to joshua tree, to food lion, to kebab, to the arno, to river rats, to miniature dogs and peeing in the streets, to weekends away, to endless train rides, and oh, to this all feeling like so long ago, yet as if it were all yesterday, to the palazzo plague, to sweltering hot summer days, to italiano, to birra moretti, to emo status wars, to sparring, to corner panino, to fiesole, corner panino, to the price of everything edible at the eui, to simulations, all nighter dgs, to professors dancing and singing in the middle of the street, to avid liver damage, to tijuana, to all the bullshit that is, to this fucking beautiful city, to bongos in Santo Spirito, to singing hobos and crackheads, to floor pizza, toilet tissue dispensers, 6 a.m. construction, throw up, 80's night, jager bombs, to speakers and professors who've never made any sense, to the gustas, to cappuccinos, to piazzale michelangelo, palazzo vecchio, piazza della repubblica, to deoderantless europeans, american breakfast, craving mexican, yelling at randos in the middle of intoxicated nights, to space, to Turkey, to civil and not so civil 'conversations', to frizzante, casalinga, yellow, central park, asia, the tranny park, to things disappearing into space, to the agony of morning afters, to photographs capturing every moment we never wanted to remember, to trying not to regurgitate in class or on Roma, to regurgitating in Roma and Ireland, to cara's facebook status novel, our greatest achievement on the eve of procrastination, to the Damn Cat, to the men of Italia, Albania, Lebanon, England, America, to bagged wine, to bag noodle, to our vending machine, ikea, cracktana, food babies, not killing each other, ricchi, gelato, to pisa, fiddler's, buses, boats, trains, planes, snowstorms in our fair London, the exchange rate, to vafanculo, to food babies, digressing, the vegetail people, market day, bus strikes, meepmeep, gg, and alex, to magi, cirque du soleil, to watching the entire 10 seasons of Friends and countless hours of dvds on top, late night political debates and civil arguments even in our intoxicated states, to the european union and to Firenze.
We've almost made it, no one's had a baby yet.
Oh, and I still think MTV should've paid to tape our life this past year. We would have so much money by now, sigh.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Mon Coeur
If you had asked me 8 months ago how I felt about this city, I would've replied, I'm not in love with it, convenience is not in the Italian vocabulary, there's dog poop everywhere, and the bongo players in the square play until all hours of the night, I'm not ready for graduate school, I don't know what I'm doing here, it doesn't feel like home, I don't know these people, I don't know if I will ever care about these people, it was never love at first sight.
And then, somewhere along the way, I accidentally fell in love with this city. And I'm so fucking thankful that Firenze, invaded by thousands of American students is still so Italian. I adore walking out of the palazzo and taking 30 steps to corner panino or gusta pizza or for a one euro cappuccino. After 9 months these photographs of these buildings have somehow gained weight in my life. They're not just photos of random pretty buildings I took on vacation, that I'll never look at again. Which btw, tourists do far too often around here.
They are of this city I adore in it's entirety. If it had been up to me, I never would've chosen Italy because it always made me uncomfortable, the idea of living in a country where I couldn't understand the language. And now I'm glad I never had a choice in the matter.
A view of Palazzo Vecchio, the Pitti Palace in my backyard, Santo Spirito, my home and Piazza della Repubblica.
Santa Croce home to the blessed international market festival where we spent the day devouring everything edible that was non-Italian, and on the way there where we discovered the Lion's Fountain, Kikuya, American breakfast, Tijuana, Red Garter, the dollar store, serafina gelateria, Yellow, and the best kebab's in Firenze
San Lorenzo looks really cute in miniature doesn't it? And Piazza della Repubblica, we walk through it almost every single day, this beautiful piazza, perhaps my favorite in Firenze, and it's simply on the way home
Palazzo Vecchio in Piazza della Signoria was the site of our first pub crawl, our EU simulation, home to the fake David, and where we knew before we got a grasp of the city that if we ended up there in the middle of intoxicated nights that we were close to home.
And then, somewhere along the way, I accidentally fell in love with this city. And I'm so fucking thankful that Firenze, invaded by thousands of American students is still so Italian. I adore walking out of the palazzo and taking 30 steps to corner panino or gusta pizza or for a one euro cappuccino. After 9 months these photographs of these buildings have somehow gained weight in my life. They're not just photos of random pretty buildings I took on vacation, that I'll never look at again. Which btw, tourists do far too often around here.
They are of this city I adore in it's entirety. If it had been up to me, I never would've chosen Italy because it always made me uncomfortable, the idea of living in a country where I couldn't understand the language. And now I'm glad I never had a choice in the matter.
A view of Palazzo Vecchio, the Pitti Palace in my backyard, Santo Spirito, my home and Piazza della Repubblica.
Santa Croce home to the blessed international market festival where we spent the day devouring everything edible that was non-Italian, and on the way there where we discovered the Lion's Fountain, Kikuya, American breakfast, Tijuana, Red Garter, the dollar store, serafina gelateria, Yellow, and the best kebab's in Firenze
San Lorenzo looks really cute in miniature doesn't it? And Piazza della Repubblica, we walk through it almost every single day, this beautiful piazza, perhaps my favorite in Firenze, and it's simply on the way home
Palazzo Vecchio in Piazza della Signoria was the site of our first pub crawl, our EU simulation, home to the fake David, and where we knew before we got a grasp of the city that if we ended up there in the middle of intoxicated nights that we were close to home.
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