Is anybody okay?

Ben: Am I going to be okay, man?
Pete: Who knows? Is anybody okay? I'm not okay. You're asking the wrong guy.
- Knocked Up

We were driving to the grocery store on Saturday night, and I mentioned how my dad was going to jail today. And my girl asked what for? And my other girl friend said, I like how you ask as if it's whatever. And she replied, well it's not like we haven't been here before.

From father's in jail to mothers fighting cancer to friends struggling in abusive relationships, none of it is really a surprise anymore. At 27-years-old, we've learned, not to be surprised when this stuff happens. And not to be surprised when our parents, even in their wise old age, seem to have more trouble dealing with real life than us.

On the way to court last week, for my dad's arrest in early September — he was charged with drunk in public, resisting arrest and threatening an officer — he said we'd have to go pick up money after. I said, for what? We were going to his bookie. Of course. 

He was waiting outside at Eden Center, for my mom to pick him up, when he got arrested — he doesn't drink and drive anymore — and he was wasted, so he doesn't even remember what happened.  He'll be serving 9 days in jail, for threatening an officer. The other charges were dropped. $1,500 for a shitty lawyer, that's what I'm thinking. And a waste of my tax dollars for an unnecessary incarceration.

On Thursday, I'm flying out west. A weekend in LA and Las Vegas — yes, I have half of two jobs, make breadcrumbs, will be living in a box house in the future, and still manage to go on vacation more than most. Some people seem truly perplexed at how it is I manage this lifestyle, some think I have a backer. I wish. It's really no secret. My priorities are different. I could be dead tomorrow, and money won't matter then.

Life doesn't care about your plans.

Not much has changed in 16 years.

on making time for many men, many many many men

me: "I HAVE TO WRITE A PAPER"
ang: "oh well, gotta live life first"

August 1992. Washington, D.C. On the National Mall.

This was the same day my mom bought me a snow cone from one of those street vendors, which were my favorite, and I accidentally dropped it and started to cry. I don't even know why, somehow I thought they were irreplaceable. But she got me another one. And then it started to pour. It was one of those storms that leaves as abruptly as it arrives. By the time we got to our car we were drenched. And I remember, after we got home and changed, we all went to Chuck E Cheese.

I had a pretty good childhood.

the after years were filled with the pursuit of relentless dreams.

[Williamsburg, Brooklyn]
_________________________________________________________

Paper planes

You'd asked me to go to the airport with you, and I'd turned you down. It was an hour away, and you were afraid you'd fall asleep. It was 2 a.m. I wasn't jumping at the chance because then, you were you, and it wasn't a big deal.

But really, with my obsession with airports. What was I thinking?

Note to self: Make the mistake first. Fix it later. Action versus inaction.


Photo courtesy of Creative Commons. "100,000 Paper Planes and Melodies Over Monroe" at the 2009 ArtPrize Paper Plane Event in Grand Rapids, MI.

More than 20,000 artists gathered in the crux of the city as Monroe Avenue was shut down on September 27th. 100,000 paper airplanes were released from the rooftops of 6 major buildings as 20,000 musicians of all walks played a single melody. I know this event happened far far away from our fair city, but it was too cool not to write about.