Monday, July 26, 2010

"So, since when do you hold your tongue?" he says.

"You think it's a good thing for two nutcases to befriend each other?"
"Yes, it's good because when I talk to you, you realize how ridiculous most of your own life is and vice verse."

"Don't worry, I have an understanding of what you are."

"You don't give yourself enough credit."
"There's so many things that have to happen for two people to meet."

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

i don't know what i came here for

You were all wrong for me, I knew it, we didn't fit. Two years later though, a small part of me still wishes I could've stuck around with you. Because you were seemingly crazy about me, among other things. I know it never would've been enough for me. But sometimes, I wish it had been.

We come across so many people, who turn to matter in different ways, different weights, understanding here, comfort there, but most of them, never quite fit to stay. I'm still waiting. And in the mean time, I've fallen back on this idea of living, chasing momentary desires, that perhaps will never weigh much alone, but without it, I may never learn the lessons I need to.

I haven't had a good night's sleep since spring.

Monday, July 12, 2010

what a waste of money and feelings we don't have

An old song shuffled on last night, and I dusted off the covers of lines I used to adore, and this time around, I found they resonate more than the last. It's funny how things...moments...come across your life, and sometimes, the second time around, things just fit better. Perhaps timing really is everything.

I'd be lying if I said, a part of me wasn't waiting for the years to pass, to have old faults fix themselves, so maybe, at some passing, we'll fit.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

"Broke ass ballin"

We were talking today, just us girls around the dining room table. About guys and marriage. Somehow it seems to come up a lot lately, even though half of us still have never managed to keep that relationship thing.

We're Asian-American, our parents were refugees from Cambodia and Vietnam, after the war. They came here, made a life for themselves from the ground up, and have managed to provide a fairly comfortable standard of living for their children. And to their astonishment, we're now grown, pursuing dreams based on this pursuit of happiness and not necessarily on the worth of a dollar. Because they've provided us with this life, where we never really had to worry about money.