A New Year

I think I stopped being so hard on myself, but I most definitely did not stop taking "that bullshit." And I failed on swearing off men. I failed not once, but several times over. And in some ways, worse than the year before. Karma's a bitch I guess. But I learned new lessons. And I realized some things. That "hooking up" (Yes, I'm using the oh so vague saying that I hate because it really doesn't mean anything, precisely why I'm using it.) with someone you don't have feelings for is pretty much a waste of time. In the morning after, you end up pretty much emptier than before because despite that moment of gratification you're doomed to realize what you once again lack.

So the experimental stage of my life is officially over I think.

"What if we got everything we ever wanted," she asked.

I'm a walking archive of past conversations, e-mails, photographs, videos. Conversation in fits of anger, photographs in moments of unbearable laughter, videos bringing back heartache.




I'm getting off the board after this last round, accepting defeat.


Thanks for playing.

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