Monday, October 6, 2014

Hello Thirty: Some Parting Words

On the eve of my thirtieth birthday, and I'm not where I thought I would be at this moment in my life. I didn't think that I would've spent a better part of my twenties as a waitress, a hostess, a bartender, an executive assistant. I didn't foresee how difficult my professional pursuits were going to be. And I certainly did not foresee that somehow time would become circular, and I would still love you as I did 16 years ago. With this said, goals and accomplishments shouldn't be measured against time or that of others. And sometimes, you'll say what you think, and you'll say how you feel, and it won't be received well. But I take nothing back. Maybe that's my biggest weakness.

Do everything in moderation, even things you love. Balance is vital. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not capable of something, even your closest friends. But about them, they're the ones who got out of bed at 3 a.m. to drive into the city to pick me up because I was stranded, the ones who came over to sit with me when I couldn't stop crying, the ones who fed me when I was broke, the ones who didn't judge me for making out with some super unfortunate men, or for an array of other embarrassing moments, and for all of this, I wouldn't have survived my twenties without you.
Love your parents. Make time for them. Even when it's hard. Even when you have nothing to talk about. They're not going to be around forever. When given the choice between traveling or not. Always, go. Always. I promise, you will not regret this. Home will always be here.

For what it's worth, senza rimpianti.


When I was 13 and going through those incredibly awkward years (that I'm sure I never entirely grew out of), my biggest fear was that no boy was ever going to like me, much less fall in love with me. Fast forward a decade and some later, and I learned the harder truth, sometimes love isn't enough. Just because you love someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that a relationship will work. It was like, of course, Life, thanks for that.

The thing about love is, it's so rare to find, that when you find someone you love, and they feel the same, you have to show them every single day. Relationships are work, and that's part of it. If you're one of the few to find this thing called love, why would you not care for it?

KNOW YOUR OWN WORTH. Because if you don't value yourself, no one else will. As important as loving someone else is, the person you're supposed to love first and foremost is yourself. Because no one else is going to do it for you. People will often treat you how you let them. If you allow someone to treat you with disrespect, they will continue to. If you allow someone to be hurtful to you, they will continue to. Because YOU allowed it. Sure, people shouldn't do shitty things and they shouldn't be shitty, but the truth is sometimes they just are.

You won't always like everyone, and that's perfectly fine. You shouldn't. It's not natural. There's always going to be someone out there who's going to bother you or irritate you or get you worked up. And talking about it every once in awhile is fine, but do not let it consume you. Don't follow them on Instagram; take them off your Facebook Newsfeed if you're unfortunately already Friends. Don't waste your energy on them.

You choose the life you want. Aside from death, you pretty much have a choice about everything else. So many people spend their time talking about how they want this or that, but because of their own circumstance, it's not possible, they'll say. But it's not circumstance, it's choice. If you want something enough, you will figure out how, you will make the sacrifices, and you will put in the time and work to make it happen. I live my life on a string of music festivals and flights out west. I don't have more money than you. I've just made a different choice.

The former years.

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