Waiting.

"if you miss me, say you miss me. if you don't, don't. if you just want to be friends, then don't tell me you miss me."

frustrated, all i could seem to muster was, "what do you want me to say?"

he points out these faults i have, that i'm more or less aware of, but no one's ever really told me point blank. he's not even aware he's pointing it out. he's just saying what he thinks. i have this thing about too much affection, or affection in general. i have a wall a mile high. with inconsistent gaps in between.

from the looks of it, this probably won't end well. i can't tell how badly yet though.


[Update]
19 October 2009
As badly as it could've.

Put your feet on the ground

i call myself a realist. i want a prince charming, but i don't believe in forever. or that there's only one other person out there for you. i don't believe that love's enough. a lot of it has to do with timing. and other constraints of life. shit happens. i don't believe in perfection. i like things messy. gives it character. i don't believe in making promises you can't keep. the phrase, "we've got a lifetime to get to know each other" is so corny it makes me wana throw up. there's nothing which grounds it. it's really an empty promise. meaningless. speaking for the sake of.


any guy would be fucking crazy to fall for me.



maybe that's my problem.



the thought of leaving for italy for so long terrifies me.

but i live for highs like that. kinda like scary movies.